Tags: #Happiness, #Neuroscience, #MentalWellbeing, #Mindset, #Expectations

Is the constant quest for happiness making you less happy? It’s a paradox many of us grapple with – the more we yearn for happiness, the more elusive it seems. Neuroscientist Tara Swart sheds light on this conundrum, highlighting the irony of relentlessly chasing happiness. Could the very pursuit be holding us back from the joy we seek?

Why the irony? Swart explains that the space between “being” and “becoming” can breed discontent. Visualize it as a Venn diagram where one circle represents your present self and the other your ideal self. When these circles barely overlap or stand completely apart, the gap becomes a source of unhappiness. The fixation on what you aspire to be, yet haven’t achieved, diminishes the acknowledgment of small wins along the way. Bestselling author Morgan Housel emphasizes on the mindbodygreen podcast that lasting happiness lies in managing the gap between circumstances and expectations.

Managing expectations for lasting happiness: Housel suggests that elevating your definition of success with every goal sets an insatiable cycle. Instead, finding contentment requires accepting that improving circumstances won’t guarantee lasting happiness. This shift in perspective invites a sense of fulfillment. Swart adds that the brain, wired with a negativity bias, can easily default to fears and scarcity. While perpetual ecstasy might be unattainable, the key is navigating between scarcity-induced fear and the joy found in moments. By regulating your perception along this spectrum, true happiness emerges within the reality of your experiences.

Perspective is the compass: Swart underscores that happiness is an inside job. External circumstances will always play a role, but the lens through which you perceive life shapes your experience. Two individuals living the same day can have vastly different experiences based on their perspectives. So, if the pursuit of happiness feels like an unending chase, perhaps the starting point lies in appreciating where you are now. As the neuroscientist suggests, the journey toward happiness is not just external circumstances but the delicate dance of regulating your internal compass.